Rhode Island's Finest

To All Our Loyal Fans:

We'd first like to say that we are still alive and breathing...and drinking...and smoking, among other things. Secondly, RI's Finest are no longer living in St. Thomas, and as of right now, we're sad to say that we're no longer living together. After leaving the Caribbean over the summer Dave has found a new home in New Haven, CT with some old friends from college. Lil' Damie, after spending a few months in Daytona Beach, is now getting frostbite in North Kingstown,RI while preparing for another move to Florida. Adam, the only smart one of the group, decided to stay in the warm weather and move to Ft. Lauderdale, FL where he is still honing his photography skills, and more importantly, his golf skills.

After taking a 1-year hiatus from updating our website, RI's Finest are back at it again. Tonight will be a truly momentous occasion...we'll all be together for the first time since The 3013 Finale (St. Thomas Bar Crawl 2005) at the end of May...7 months ago!

Prepare yourselves for many more pictures, including those from tonight's festivities. Our blog will also be updated more regularly and we will be giving away some terrific prizes, such as: tickets to the Park-McGovern-Blazar Gun Show, autographed photos, free ballroom dance lessons, plus many, many more.

We'd like to let everyone know that we are trying to plan a St. Thomas reunion trip sometime in the near future. Anyone and everyone should join us in what will surely be the greatest vacation known to man. Drop us a line if you are at all interested and we will try to get something together that will fit into everyone's schedules.

We look forward to sharing our lives with everyone once again...we're sure you are just as excited as we are.


Much Love,

RI's Finest

PS - Adam has not yet received one dime owed to him by his ex-friend Nick, nor has he spoken one word to him in over a year...

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 13:10 | Comment (1) | Trackbacks (0)

Nine years ago...

On a faithful day in the fall of 1995, two wide-eyed freshmen named Adam Blazar and Nicholas Muschiano made a wager that would forever change both of their lives. The two young men agreed that if Adam's beloved Red Sox were to win the World Series that year Nick would give Adam $250 with absolutely no strings attached. The Red Sox did not win the World Series, so there was no payment. Since the Red Sox hadn't won since 1918, Nick's confidence was sky high, which led him to place the same wager each year for the next 8 years...

October, 2004...

Since that magical day at Cranston High School East, the Yankees have gone on to win 4 World Championships, while the Red Sox, painfully, didn't win any. Nick was understandably frustrated that his team had won those 4 times and did not receive a dime, so the terms of the original agreement were altered. Minutes before the classic battle between the Red Sox and Yankees in the ALCS, they came to a verbal understanding that if the Yankees won another World Series Adam would give Nick $200, while Nick would still give Adam $250.

December 9, 2004...

To this date, the payment of $250 to Adam Blazar has yet to be made, nor has there been any attempt by Nick to settle this matter. In our opinions, and rightfully so, we believe Nick has committed a breach of contract. We now look to all of our loyal fanbase to give their opinion on this situation. Please post your comments or, if you happen to know where Nick lives, feel free to stop by his house to voice your complaint.

*Even before posting this there has been tons of mail pertaining to this subject...here are a couple favorites:

Dear Nick,

I am now speaking on behalf of my friend, Adam Blazar. He is so disgusted by your lack of integrity that he will no longer speak directly to you. Not only have you not sent the money for the Red Sox winning the World Series, but you haven't even responded to any of his attempts to reach you. We both hope you come to your senses and realize that the verbal contract was as good as anything on paper. Usually a friend's word is enough, but in this case, apparently not. If you feel so inclined to reach Adam, you can email him at Thrace36@aol.com, call him at 340-998-5743, or you can send the check for $250.00 to the address below:

Adam Blazar
Balzing Photos Inc.
Havensight Mall Bldg. VII
St. Thomas, USVI 00802

Be a friend and show the man some respect!

Thank You,

A Loyal Friend of Adam Blazar

And one more...

Dear Little Nicky,
After hearing about the situation, I am shocked and appalled. It was my understanding that you had indeed entered into a verbal contract with one Adam David Blazar. In fact, I know that this contract has been on going for quite a few years. I also know that you and Adam have been friends for quite some time. Until now I had also considered you a good man, one of respect and courtesy. All that being said, it is extremely surprising to me that not only have you not fulfilled your end of the bargain, but that you refuse to even address the matter with him. I know this is a hard time for you. Trust me I understand, after all I am a Red Sox fan, something that has been synonymous with heart break for 86 years. I know that being on the losing end of the greatest comeback in sports history has derailed the bandwagon that you have been riding on for so long. But what do we do when we fall of the bandwagon…err…horse? We get right back on, or we open our checkbooks and try to buy another championship. Steinbrenner has plenty of checks so I want you to start using a mantra that has helped ease the pain in New England for so many years…”There’s always next year.” Stop and say that a few times… Good. You should feel a little better by now. Pass that trick along to the 3 other traitors that live in the New England and still cheer for the Evil Empire. Now that you feel a little better, maybe you can discuss business with Adam. I’m sure you realize what an atrocity it would be, should you renege on your deal. Probably the ugliest thing since A-Rod bitch slapping the ball out of Arroyo’s glove like he stole his purse. So far, you have shown a severe lack of respect for Adam, and even worse a supreme lack of respect for yourself. Don’t be a disgrace to your beloved pinstripes, to Cranston, and to your friends. Follow through with your promise to your friend and give the man what he has earned.

Regards,

One of Adam's More Respectful Friends

*Here are some recent quotes in reference to the unfortunate event that has transpired in the life of Adam Blazar:

-"It's enough cash to make a bet interesting, but not so much that it will ruin your life!"

-“I don’t understand why he doesn’t just pay?”

-"I once knew of a kid who didn't pay one of his friends back. Things got so bad they had to use dental records to identify the cheapskate."

-"I usually only make bets with friends, because collecting money from other people is like pulling teeth. It's too bad friendship doesn't mean what it used to."

-"The tricky thing with bets is that sometimes you lose, but when that happens you just have stop answering your phone and hope it goes away."

-"I've always heard that character goes a long way in life...but I guess not as far as $250 for some people."

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 15:43 | Comments (15) | Trackbacks (0)

We're trying to update the site as often as possible, but I know our fans still demand more. So if you would like to be on our mailing list, we will send you an Update Email each and every time something is added by RI's Finest. You can either send an email to one of us or just leave your email address in the Comment section of this post, and we will add you to our mass email list. If you choose to send an email, you can send it to either thrace36@aol.com, mcgovernusvi@hotmail.com, or damonp526@yahoo.com. Enjoy!

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 15:34 | Comments (21) | Trackbacks (0)

ALCS prediction:
Game 1: A fluke
Game 2: Pedro pitches nine perfect innings and has 25 strike outs for the win. Bill Mueller and Kevin Millar go yard. A fight breaks out when Pedro pitches A-Rod inside. The richest crybaby on earth then whines like a bitch. Varitek collapses A-Rod’s pretty face. Derek “Mr. Hustle” Jeter hustles his ass off to go help his boyfriend, before realizing that he’s a giant pussy and promptly catches the beating of a lifetime, compliments of Bronson Arroyo. Tanyon Sturtze is out for at least 10 seasons due to brain trauma resulting from a barrage of haymakers thrown by David Ortiz and Gabe Kapler…again. Pedro is unexpectedly blindsided by a charging Joe Torre, but with a swift side step, directs Torre’s face to the turf…and then leaves some cleat marks on his face so he can compare scars with Zimmer. Final Score: 17-0 Sox
Game 3: Arroyo pitches a one hit shut out, although the Yankees get 9 other baserunners as Arroyo tries successfully to plunk every member of the Yankees Starting lineup in the crotch. The only hit coming when Sheffield tries to duck a bean ball and it accidentally hits his bat. Arroyo is suspended for 3 games, however, when he realizes that pitchers are in the starting lineup too, and fires a fastball from the Sox dugout into an unsuspecting Kevin Brown’s groin while he’s on the mound. Johnny Damon hits 2 homers, one inside the park. Orlando Cabrera hits 4 triples, and Trot goes 6 for 6 with 4 doubles off the monster. Final Score: 38-0 Sox
Game 4: Schilling pitches a no-no. Manny and Ortiz both hit a pair of dingers and combine for 15 of the Sox’s RBI’s. Johnny Damon goes 6 for 6 and steals 4 bases including home. Final Score 23-0, Sox
Game 5: Just like in Little League or a Beer League Softball game, when you severely overmatch a team, you put in your bench players and play people in different positions. Starting pitcher Doug Mirabelli gets the Win and goes 5 1/3 perfect innings before reliever Pokey Reese goes 2 2/3 solid hitless innings. Closing things out and getting the save was Johnny Damon who struck out the side in the ninth, underhand. The Boston bats showed no signs of cooling as shortstop Tim Wakefield goes 4 for 4 with 2 roundtrippers, 2nd baseman Manny Ramirez hits for the cycle, and 3rd baseman Keith Foulke batting in the 8 slot behind 1st baseman Curt Schilling steals a major league record 69 bases in one game. Final Score: 69-0 Sox

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 11:42 | Comments (56) | Trackbacks (0)

Red Sox fans have been through a lot, it’s no secret. Ask anyone all over the country about it and you’re sure to hear some of the “B” words that have become worse than curse words in the greater New England area…Bucky…Buckner…Boone…and the worst of them all, Babe. I’m actually nauseous writing about it. It’s glaringly apparent that for the last almost 100 years heartbreak is a dish served at every household in New England on a regular basis. Those on the outside looking in will probably never understand the torment that is exclusive to Boston fans. The closest might be the Cubs, who haven’t won a World Series since Henry Ford rolled the Model T off the assembly line, but they hardly ever put a decent team together which makes it less of an emotional rollercoaster and more of a general malaise cast over most of Chicago. The Red Sox are always (well, almost always) a great team and a perennial playoff contender, and yet somehow manage to have their dreams “yank”ed away at the last moment each time. Hopes raised to the highest, and then dropped to see what kind of damage ensues. My 80 something grandfather still watches every game and cheers with all his heart even though no living member of my family has ever seen the Red Sox win a World Series, much like most New Englanders. And yet, 86 years since the last time the Red Sox won a World Series; through countless blown opportunities, foiled plots, mistakes, and bad descisions (fuck you Grady); through the hype surrounding some “curse”; after almost a century of taunts from our closest neighbor and rival; after 26 really big taunts from our closest neighbor and rival; and after way too many heartbreaks; the Fans of the Boston Red Sox remain the most loyal, boisterous fans in the country. Where else in this country can you find fans who take so many emotional blows and still can’t wait for every season, every game, every pitch. New England has a pulse and it beats to the “W” column of the Boston Red Sox.
Even with all this on our shoulders, something feels different this year. During the Yanks series last year, we sat in the 3013 afraid to say a word, lest it stir up the demons of the curse. Even when it looked like victory was imminent, we still had visions of a certain big, fat, drunk, womanizing, homerun hitting former Boston player dancing in our heads. Boone’s homerun seemed like simply the most dramatic way to twist that knife in our hearts. But this year feels different. Sure, the stats are there, on paper we look great. We have improved on the mound, in the pen and on defense. But we’ve looked good on paper before. We looked really good last year, but apparently someone forgot to tell Aaron Boone. But it goes beyond that this year. This year is different. There is a chemistry on the team this year that is unmatched by any team in any sport. The 2004 Boston Red Sox are not only the most talented team in the league, but unarguably the best friends, and it shows. From the stupid haircuts to the gay ass hugs, this team has fun on and off the field. This, of course, makes them the perfect antithesis to the extremely business like, anal retentive other team in the North East. The players can definitely feel it. The usually media shy Manny made a public proclamation at the start of spring training that this was indeed, “The Year.” Well, we’re with Manny. Fuck the Bambino, Fuck the Curse, Fuck the New York Yankees and Fuck You if you doubt us. Here’s to the 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox…

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 11:37 | Comments (160) | Trackbacks (0)

We feel bad for the Yankees. Such an illustrious history and they won’t even make it past the first round of the Playoffs this year. You’ve heard it from all the sports casters and seen it on all the sports shows. Everyone knows that you need a powerful starting rotation to do well in the playoffs, and to say the Yanks staff is a disgrace to the game of baseball is an understatement. Even Yanks fans have trouble listing the cast of bumbling dipshits that take the mound in the Bronx every night. Couple that with Santana twice in a five game series, and it’s lights out Yanks. Taking all this into consideration, we wanted to show the pinstripes that Sox fans are good sportsmen. We here at Rhode Island’s Finest took the liberty of completing a Last Will and Testament for the 2004 New York Yankees, so it’s one less thing on their mind:

Last Will and Testament
2004 New York Yankees
We, The 2004 New York Yankees, being of sound and disposing mind and memory do make, publish, and declare this to be our last Will and Testament. We appoint Curt Schilling as Executor of this our Last Will and Testament and provide if this Executor is unable or unwilling to serve then we appoint Pedro Martinez as alternate Executor. Our Executor shall be authorized to carry out all provisions of this Will and pay our just debts, obligations and funeral expenses. We will, give, and bequeath unto the persons named below, if he or she survives us, the Property described below:

- Our Pinstripe uniforms are to be given to Fenway Park, for use as bath tissue in all public restrooms.
- Mariano Rivera is to be returned to the planet Assclownian 9, the only planet where he is actually good looking.
- Alex Rodriguez leaves his large set of anal beads to former boyfriend/girlfriend RuPaul.
- Yankees Captain Derek Jeter leaves his make-up kit, vanity mirror, curling iron, eyelash curler, lip gloss, sparkly nail polish, and all unused feminine hygiene products to the children of New York.
- We leave Derek Jeter to the 3013 to do as they wish with him.
-Alex Rodriguez leaves his small set of travel anal beads to best friend Carson from Queer Eye.
-We leave Tanyon Sturtze to David Ortiz and Gabe Kapler so they can use him for a punching bag…again
-We leave John Lieber to…wait, who the fuck is John Lieber? Seriously, we have a guy named John Lieber on our team? Never heard of him…
-Kevin Brown leaves nothing because when they lost he had another little sissy fit and banged his head against the wall so hard that he died.
-Hideki Matsui’s head is to be left to the Smithsonian for analysis of the worlds largest head and largest earlobes. And then after analysis it is to be dropped from a plane onto Yankee stadium.

Well, there it is. One less thing for the Yanks to worry about while they watch the Red Sox win the World Series this year. If anyone has anything that they thing should be added, just post a comment.

Yankees suck!!!!!!!

Posted by rhodeislandsfinest in General at 11:59 | Comments (30) | Trackbacks (0)

This is the part of the web site where we answer some of the fan mail that we get. These were 3 of our favorite letters from today.

From: Thomas Olivo (thomasolivo@yahoo.com)
Subject: We’re hungry…
Hey guys,
Cool website and all. I especially like the picture of Damon and Dave with their shirts off. I check the website everyday and there never seems to be anything new. Why does it take you guys so long to update the site. Your fans are getting hungry, won’t you feed us? –Tom

Dear Tom,
Thank you for your compliments. It does take us a long time to update the site (last update: 7/12). This is for a number of reasons. The first reason is that we aren’t computer geeks and we have better things to do then sit around and type “blogs” or whatever the fuck. We have better things to do like watch sportscenter and recover from hangovers. The second reason is that it takes us a long time to develop pictures. I mean where the hell would we go to get pictures developed down here. The final reason is that it’s a Caribbean tradition to have your fingers chopped off and we have to type this with our noses and cocks. It takes forever. In addition we will be adding some pictures today so that should hold you over until the next update.
-Rhode Islands Finest



From: Dave Molinaro (dcmol19@aol.com)
Subject: Stankees
Dear Rhode Islands Finest,
I really enjoy the site, I check it everyday after I check my email, and the pictures of your smiling faces always brightens my day and takes me to a better place. That being said, I know you guys are huge Red Sox fans so you must be really excited that the Sox are the hands down favorite to win it all this year. My question is a 2 part question. Why are the Yankees are so terrible, and why is everything they do so homosexual? I mean Jeter and A-Rod could be poster boys for KY. –Dave

Dear Dave,
Thank you for the nice letter and the compliments. You are right, we are big Red Sox fans, and this is most definitely our year. As for the Yankees, they suck because they are all a bunch of overpaid crybabies who wouldn’t know heart or dedication if it were dressed as A-Rod and gave rimjobs to the entire starting lineup. You see Dave, the Yankees buy championships, and expect that just because they have all big name players that they will automatically win the world series. As the Marlins, Diamondbacks, Angels, Braves, A-Rod’s batting average, and (this year) Red Sox prove, it takes a little more to make a Champion. As for the gay issue, it is true that 95% of the team prefers to endulge in chocolate starfish as opposed to bearded clams, but people are attracted to different things and we here at rhodeislandsfinest.net don’t wish to judge a Yankees team based on sexual preference. I hope that answered your questions. Mariano Rivera looks like an alien. –Rhode Islands Finest



From: Will Clifton (wilclif@aol.com)
Subject: Big Storms
Dear rhodeislandsfinest.net,
Kickass web site guys. You guys have so many hot bitches down there it looks like you run a high priced brothel for celebrities. Let me get some of that! My question is about hurricanes. Whenever I hear about hurricanes, it sounds like they go right through your area. Why aren’t you dead yet? Holla back… -Big Willy

Dear Will,
Thank you for your letter, it certainly has been crazy with all the bitches and hurricanes. The hurricanes that you usually hear about start in the mid-Atlantic and most of the time, do come right though or area. We are about 60 miles east of Puerto Rico so when you hear about storms down here, keep that in mind. So far this season we’ve been brushed by a few including the 2 most recent ones, Ivan and Frances. They were headed right for us but when we saw them coming we were all, "What's up, bitch?!" And the storm is all, "Not, much, Sirs." And we’re all, "That's right, bitch! Now, go make us a sandwich!" And that’s the kind of confidence we have down here. When the storms leave their houses for the day, Damon goes to their houses and bangs their wives. Any way, thanks for the letter. Jeter sucks, A-rod swallows. –Rhode Islands Finest

If you have a question and would like to send an email, we are always more than happy to answer your questions. We have added new pictures today and hopefully will continue to update the website on a more regular basis.
THRACE36@aol.com
Damonp526@yahoo.com
mcgovernusvi@hotmail.com

–Rhode Islands Finest

Posted by rhodeislandsfinest in General at 14:51 | Comments (116) | Trackbacks (0)

They say all good things must come to an end, but I don't think whoever said that had Adam's lip carpet in mind. To see the glory in person was to behold something truly magnificent. For just a short week, Adam had all of St. Thomas (and who knows, maybe the world) in the palm of his hand. No worries from police men, who were afraid to bother him for fear he may be one of their own; no waiting in line, people know that a man with a moostache is a man who knows what he wants and isn't going to wait for it; and enough ladies to sell out the Lillith Fair, all hoping for one of Adam's famous moostache rides. All of St. Thomas was going through their day, desperately hoping to catch but a glimpse of his illustrious sub nasal tapestry. There are very few things in this world with the power to bring tearful women to their knees, and grown men to bow in submission... but this was one of them.
And now... as quickly as it all started, this magical journey has come to miserable triple bladed ending. A wave of sorrow has washed over this tiny rock in the middle of the caribbean. The sun doesn't shine as brightly here, and the tropical birds sing no more. Stores are being boarded up and people are staying inside, for what do they have to look forward to. The beautiful colors are fading, and the steel pans will play no more...


*This post is dedicated in loving memory to Adam's Moostache...gone but not forgotten.RIP.


Moostache
07/04/04 - 07/11/04

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 18:03 | Comments (254) | Trackbacks (0)

Adam (a self-proclaimed jetsetter) can't help that he has a profession that takes him all over the world, but he can help looking good while he does it. Our good friend has decided (with just a smidgen of peer pressure) to grow out the most glorious piece of facial hair a man can have (and actually the only piece he can currently grow)...his mustache. Lovingly known as a moostache, this time honored male accessory has adorned the faces of the greats: James Joyce, Carey Grant, Tom Selleck, and so on. Adam's magnificent push broom has been growing for 3 days now, and he has become less than thrilled with his new hirsute look. With all of your help, we can encourage our brave friend to let his soup strainer ornament his lip until it has reached maturity. He wants to shave his moostache Saturday 7/10/04. What we need is for all of you to post comments on this website, and email us explaining to Adam that his newest lady pleaser needs to be seen by the world. We look forward to all of your comments and feedback, and with a little luck...there will be pictures on this very site.
Peace,
3013
damonp526@yahoo.com
mcgovernusvi@hotmail.com
THRACE36@aol.com

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 16:34 | Comments (103) | Trackbacks (0)

Sometimes it takes us a while to get these updates up, but when they come they’re good. Damon spent a good portion of his Sunday uploading all these pictures, so make sure you thank him (damonp526@yahoo.com). As you’ll see, we’ve been up to a lot down here. We’ve been to all the tourist spots, famous places, deserted beaches, Carnivals (3 of them now), and lots of other shit. Its hard to squeeze them all onto one website, but we’ll do our best. Most of these places and events are hard to truly appreciate unless you’ve been there. We even find ourselves having difficulty, when we look at the pictures, understanding how nice these places were and how lucky we are. Most of these pictures look like postcards that you get from relatives, of a distant place. For most of you, they will basically be postcards. This is what we see when we open the door of the 3013. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but some of these places need a few billion. We hope you enjoy checking out these pictures as much as we enjoyed taking them.
Peace,
The 3013

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 13:49 | Comments (51) | Trackbacks (0)

“I feel like I’m on acid,” is I believe the first thing out of Adam’s mouth when he saw Drunk Bay. We were enjoying a nice day on a nice calm beach on St. John when we noticed a sign for a place called “Drunk Bay” (no, seriously). Being the mature adults that we are, we decided that a pilgrimage was the only proper thing to do. If the walk there wasn’t strange enough (a cactus lined path that goes along a pond with red water, and a large area of nothing, like a salt flat), we were all shocked at what we saw when we got there. The beach is on a side of St. John that gets hit with currents and is one of the few places down here that actually has waves. The beach isn’t really a beach so much as it is a huge pile of coral pieces, rocks, and random items the tide has brought in. For some reason, people (or who knows maybe it wasn’t people, maybe it was aliens) started constructing things out of the coral and shit on the beach. They built lots of little people, pirates, clocks, execution scenes, designs, chairs and whatever the fuck else. There were abstract sculptures, giant rocks and pieces of wood precariously balanced so that even a stiff breeze made them move like a see saw, messages spelled out, and tons of other weird shit. Naturally we weren’t leaving without building something, so we built that giant pile of coral you see with the little pile on top. You should see the video.

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 13:48 | Comments (204) | Trackbacks (0)

***THE WINNER RECEIVES 4 FREE NIGHTS IN BEAUTIFUL ST. THOMAS***



What'S hoUDINI'S broTHER's NAME?



email answer to: THRACE36@aol.com (adam is a doofus)
more pictures, articles, porn, and gossip soon...
xoxoxo- princess jasmine

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 02:57 | Comments (66) | Trackbacks (0)

according to the Miriam Webster Dictionary there is no word spelled "spead". I meant to say "God Speed". It was all my fault!

-Adam

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 02:38 | Comments (140) | Trackbacks (0)

Batina, Batina, Batina.....what the hell kind of name is that? Dave and I are sitting in the office wondering that same thing. Shes staying at Saphire Beach in room c209 and for some odd reason she wants me to give her a call.

After a very nice night in St. John we are back in St Thomas....unfortunately we've had a few to many to fill you in on anymore.

God Spead,

Adam, Dave, Mary Jane, Jasmine and Houdini

Posted by mcgovernusvi in General at 02:36 | Comments (93) | Trackbacks (0)

After a very nice week in New England I'm back in good ol' St. Thomas. To be honest I could have spent a couple more days back home in civilization, but the beaches and warm weather should take care of that.

This summer is looking pretty slow (except for July 4th), so anyone who wants to come visit we'd love to have you. Holla Back!

Posted by rhodeislandsfinest in General at 15:26 | Comments (67) | Trackbacks (0)